Welcome Holy Black Girls!

 Recently, I started (again for the 10,000th time) swim lessons. Today, September 28, was my first session since 2012/2013. I am 35 years old, and I do not know how to swim. I'd like to believe that in an urgent situation, I could save myself, but I want to be absolutely sure.  Two of my closest friends have children who excel as swimmers. One of them, Bear, who is also my godson, has consistently been promoted since he started swimming. Now, as a one-year-old, he is in class with two- and three-year-olds. I was so inspired by Bear that I decided it was time for me to start my swim lessons again. This time, it would be different. This time, it would be a lesson in trust.  When I realized how well the children in my life were excelling at swimming, it dawned on me that the conditions must be just right for a swimmer to fully engage. I believe that the children are so good at their lessons because their parents have created conditions that allow them to trust that they will...

I tried to write this blog back in late June/early July and I couldn’t. On my 35th birthday my mind is finally giving permission to move forward. I wanted to reflect on my last year and the birthday prayers I have for my next year of life.  During my 34th year I learned why some of us did not die. In July 2002 June Jordan released Some of Us Did Not Die, a selection of essays that lays out the the cost and benefits linked to living a life that is dedicated to freedom and equity. I first encountered these essays in 2012 during the spring of my second year of grad school. During this time the words rang beyond the required syllabus reading when my mentor and homegirl called me in the middle of the night to come pick up her and her baby. They awakened to a smoky house due to a pot of some sort left on the stove. In true Black woman wisdom we both knew it was safer for me to come and pick her and her baby up rather than engage authorities of any kind. They could have died, but they did...

          In 2021 after losing Boo and two of his sisters I had this idea to collect stories from my family during our family reunion. I thought, "It would be simple, just a few interviews shot by Michellay Wells and then we would edit it and release." HA! Fooled me. Nothing was easy about it lol Shoutout to the filmmakers.      I didn't prep my family so some of them did not buy in initially, but then they talked for an hour (lol). It was hot as an oven in Pearl, Mississippi and the shooting happened outside. The sound was sketchy because outside, we didn't shoot enough b-roll, etc etc. Michellay and I did a first cut and I was not pleased so we started from scratch. We have lived with these narratives and this footage since then. We broke it up into themes across all the footage and we got excited about it all over again and were determined to release it at this at my family reunion.  Thank you so much to Michellay Wells for all of y...

  In 2012 my homegirl and scholar Jessica Robinson asked “Can We Be For Black Girls and Against Their Sexuality?” ( Read Robinson’s article in Wish to Live: The Hip Hop Feminism Pedagogy Reader. Purchase here ) I recently thought of this question, but now I am wondering, can I be for Black Girls and not take care of myself?  Like so many others, I started the new year pledging to do all the responsible adult things: save money, pay down consumer debt, write all the things, and lose weight. Many of these things appear on my resolution/manifestation list every year. But, THIS YEAR, I told myself I would not break the promises I made to myself. I am mostly good at meeting my goals. For example in 2021-2022 I’m sure purchasing a home and increasing my income by 20-30k was on my resolution/manifestation board and by the end of 2022 all of that came to be.  To get an accurate starting point on my health I first needed to establish a primary care physician in my new neighborhoo...

I am a trained labor and delivery doula and I will let anyone who will listen know that being a doula is the job I didn’t know I needed to do.  June 2017 I was sitting poolside at my family’s vacation when I received a text from one of my colleagues that I knew from graduate school. In our text exchange she shared with me her exciting news, she and her husband were pregnant. I congratulated her and asked her to let me know if she needed anything. All the while, during this exchange, I was thinking to myself that our relationship was not close enough where I was above learning about her exciting new news via facebook status. She followed up with the ask that changed me forever, for the better, “will you be my doula?” I quickly followed up and told her maybe she misheard me in an introduction of myself, but I was not a doula. She confirmed she knew, but thought her education as a doula and my spirit was what she would need to bring her baby earthside.  I was blown away that I wa...

  Below I recap my time at Black Girl Genius Week 2022. Admittedly, the flow is all over the place. That’s how I like it, enjoy.  “Are you sure, sweetheart, that you want to be well?… Just so's you're sure, sweetheart, and ready to be healed, cause wholeness is no trifling matter. A lot of weight when you’re well.” Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara  A lot of weight when you’re well. I’m so glad that Dr. Brown gave this to her new Dean and that he has taken it on as his new biblical text. The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade is “the long reading” and going back to it means you are interested in doing the real work, root work.  I thought I was well. The entrance of my 34th year has confirmed I am more than ready to be well. I have all the tools I need and more. I finally feel most confident in who and who’s I am.  I am confident in the life I am creating for myself and the peace that comes with that. Black Girl Genius Week 2022 put a lot of emphasis on that last part thoug...