Happy Auntie's Day!

When you think of your favorite family member, outside of your grandparents, you may think of your favorite first cousin. But after that (maybe even before), for sure you go to your favorite auntie. I do not think we celebrate the pillars of our families and Black girlhood enough, so this is an appreciation post and petition to authorize the eve of Thanksgiving Day as National Auntie Day. 

I have many aunts, but anyone who knows me knows that "Vette" is top on the list. The funny part about my relationship with my aunt Lavette is that I have never called her aunt, auntie, or any variation of the title. She's always been Vette or even Mookie once upon a time. However, this has never dimensioned the reverence I have for her nor the place she holds in my life. Lavette is my dad's sister and she is the baby of their clan of three. Her aunts say that she is the person who brought about a change in my grandfather and for sure she was her parents' favorite. To her parents she could do no wrong, I share that sentiment. 

My grandmother would tell people all the time, "I've had Shay ever since she was 14 months old." At the time she was 50 years. I give so much praise to my grandmother for starting her life over at 50 to take care of her granddaughter, but essentially Vette became a young mother to me at the same time. I was not the first grand baby, but I was the first girl. I thought I was Lavette's baby. She was invested in dressing me in nice dresses and hair bows. I was obsessed. In fact, there is footage of me crying out for her in her debut performance of our church's play, "Momma I'm Back." Role model is an understatement; I am probably only as good as I am because I knew that if nothing else I needed to be on the same level as Vette if not higher. In eighth grade she was salutatorian so I strived to be that. I graduated valedictorian. Our familial drive has continue throughout my life. 

One thing that I admire about Vette and aunties in general is their ability to make you feel so loved and validated. Aunties relate to and teach us in ways that sometimes gets lost in the hormonal imbalances of mother-daughter relationships. When I am in trouble the first person I am calling is Lavette. The investment of the auntie is unmatched as they will always make room for you in their lives. It's with our aunties that we can be the biggest dreamer as they provide the space for us to test and try limits that our parents maybe don't or didn't have the time or patience to create. 

Aunties are also special because they supersede kinfolk relationships. Even if you don't have biological aunt/s, in the Black family structure, you have non-related aunts. Usually, a parent's homegirl automatically becomes aunt and if you are fortunate as my family this aunt and her family become extended family and the lines of biological and not cease to exist. This is why aunts are so special to and should be to you, they just are--without pretense. 

On the eve of thanksgiving 2020, a year that has really tried us to no extent, I want to give all the aunties their flowers. I am because you are, seriously. For example, you cannot tell me that the "big legs" I have come to love didn't develop because my auntie Bobbie praised me for my small legs when I was a little girl. All of the major decisions I have made in my life were mostly successful because I ran them by Lavette first. She keeps me grounded both professionally and personally. So, as you prepare your meals or whatever you choose to do to celebrate the day of thanks in this wild year, be sure to thank our Creator for blessing you with an auntie like yours. I'm going to do that and challenge myself to be an even better auntie in the coming year.