We are always on fire, even when they refuse to see it

Over the weekend, all across the world, people took to the streets to proclaim, once again, “Black Lives Matter.” The spark that ignited the protest this time was the recorded murder of George Floyd, a Minneapolis father, brother, and son, who’s life was taken by an officer who held his knee on Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 45 seconds. While in the midst of a different pandemic people across America risked their lives to bring attention to the joke of justice, this time a third degree murder charge. If you’re like me you probably didn’t even know a 3rd degree murder charge was possible. 

Two weeks prior to Floyd’s murder, many Black Americans hit the trails to run or walk in solidarity with the family of Ahmaud Arbery. Arbery, a south Georgian brother, son, and nephew, was shot and killed by a white supremacist father-son duo who accused Arbery of stealing. Much of mainstream media learned of Arbery’s death recently, however, he was killed back in February. His murderers were recently charged, months after their violent, reckless crime. 

I cannot forget about Breonna Taylor, an EMT front line worker, who was killed by police officers who raided her home in Louisville, Kentucky. Killed in the middle of the night, the deadly cost of the police’s misinformation. After dozens of petitions the FBI recently opened an investigation into the death of Taylor. Sadly, even if charges are brought up against all the officers involved in Ms. Taylor’s murder, history has shown us that it is likely that these murderers will not serve any time and at best will be placed on probation. Tired and fatigued by the change we never get to see, some folks took to the streets and set them ablaze. 

In my work, I think about fire as a utility of Black girls that moves us all into a future that they, Black girls, have already imagined. I know this to be true from my work with Saving Our Lives Hear Our Truths (SOLHOT) a collective dedicated to celebrating and dreaming with Black girls. In SOLHOT I’ve seen fire work as a ritual cleansing. For example, when permissible (or not) we use fire to close out our sessions and remember those who have gone before us. Standing in a circle, one by one, we use the fire from a candle to light nag champa incense while declaring, I want you to know and remember names such as Rekia Boyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and George Floyd.  

In SOLHOT, we metaphorically use fire to demonstrate our holy rage. In our anthem track, Miss Me, and Miss Me Remixxx we discuss our rage and upset with institutional failures,  shortcomings, and violences towards Black girls and their girlhoods. Not only this, on our track, To Be Honest, we use fire to think through the ways we are complicit in some of the systems that continue to disenfranchise Black girls. We even suggest that burning it (systems of oppression, institutions) down and rebuilding them (or not) might get us closer to the change we desire. 

What I know from our organizing in SOLHOT and America’s history is that Black people have always been on fire, even when others refused to see it. Every time, we reached a smolder or justice, the fire would ignite again with cases such as Sandra Bland or Laquan McDonald. I know that we are always on fire because the stories of schooling and policing shared by the girls we work with in Columbia, South Carolina are no different than those shared by the girls in Urbana, Illinois or the girls in the south suburbs of Chicago. I’m not surprised that this weekend erupted in literal fire. 

Since the third week in March states across America have been shut down as citizens were asked to shelter in place in an effort to stall the spread of Covid 19. This meant economies, that, we, the people drive, were brought to a stand still. Income stopped, however, rent, insurance, and the need for groceries and toiletries continued. Soon we realized that everyone in the country is living paycheck to paycheck as billion dollar industries such as airline companies petitioned the U.S. government for bailouts. I guess they were not able to save 3 times their income as recommended by money experts for emergencies either. Quickly, lawmakers passed bills to bail out these companies, meanwhile, lawmakers struggled to see how they could bail out the American people. All the while unemployment numbers rose and continued to rise far into the millions.  Fire. 

Freezes on rent and mortgage payments we announced and eventually the government approved a stimulus package of $1,200 dollars to each eligible American. An amount lawmakers probably came to in an effort to mirror the $31,099 median income of full time workers according to the 2017 Bureau of Labor Statistics. By the time Americans were stimulated many were already a month or two behind on rent and bill payments that they were potentially already struggling to meet prior to the global economic shut down. 

Floyd’s death marked a breaking point and while some took to the streets in peaceful protest others took to the streets to disenfranchise companies that have longed divested from the communities that keep them running. The looting began. It was a sight to see. Not only were corporate stores like Target emptied, the buildings were set ablaze, a message that ricocheted across the world that so many were beyond fed up. 

On Friday, Illinois government officials such as Govern Pritzkar and Chicago mayor, Lori Lightfoot responded to the president’s insensitive tweets regarding Floyd’s death and the uprising. Lori Lightfoot said she only had two words for the president and they began with F and ended with U. On Saturday, some citizens of Chicago had those same words for Lightfoot as they hit the streets and started looting across the city. Lightfoot expressed her disdain for those who showed up to the peaceful protest with violent and criminal intentions. She immediately put a citywide curfew in place and stopped all transportation services. At that point, despite her efforts, the fire was too far gone. Throughout the night stores were damaged and empty, peaceful methods abandoned. 

Mayor Lightfoot must've forgot how and when she got over. She failed to remember that grace and mercy were on her side when the people did not turn Chicago upside down in response to the police killing of LaQuan McDonald or Rekia Boyd prior to that. The people remembered and responded. 

We are in a state of emergency, activist Tamika Mallory so eloquently told us,  and those who chose to loot decided that they could no longer wait. They could no longer wait for wages to catch up to the cost of living. They could no longer wait for governments to pass bills that respond to the ever growing housing crisis or debt of young Americans. They absolutely could not wait for their jobs to put out statements of condolences and understanding while not putting forth real efforts to diversify their companies and institutions. They could no longer wait. Period. So, they took their inheritance and reparations in the form of whatever they could carry out and load up. Perhaps, this is what going to the enemy’s camp to take back everything he stole looks like. 

The aftermath, ruins. Boards in the place of windows, glass and merchandise everywhere. It hurts and it shouldn’t have come to this. But, now in the face of devastation none of us can look away. The veil of safety and security that we believe will save us, because our family and friends are ok, has been lifted. We have to look at this not as material gain, but as a system that is so far gone ain't no fixing it. We shouldn’t even desire things to get back to what they used to be. Maybe the fire that was ignited and fueled across the country by rioters and looters opens us up to the possibility of imagining things anew. This becomes the opportunity for government officials to lead with next level vision and integrity. They can work alongside the people to develop solutions to issues of housing, food and gas deserts, and schooling. 

Last night, I was restless. Yes, because of the happenings of the world, but more so because of a conversation I had where the person said in response to the news playing the looting on loop that “the youth are sad, the future is dead.” I responded “I don’t believe that.” I don’t believe that statement because it cannot be that just me and the people I know and love are exceptional and excluded from that statement. The future cannot be dead because I have a niece and nephew, cousins, and young people I work with who need even more support and encouragement so that their dreams and visions can be birthed. 

This morning when I got up I wished I had added to my response. I wished I’d responded, “If the youth are sad and the future is dead it is because you, nor I, gave them a future to look forward to or worked to create the future they deserve.” This harsh reality is what should cause unrest and sleepless nights for us all and mirror the state of emergency ignited by the fire of the protest and riots.